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Inteligent Design, Get a Grip! January 20, 2012

Posted by Wig Bubbles Bob in Off the Wall.
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It’s Bullsh!t. How many times have you been doing some tricky little task and thought, “Gee, a third hand would be cool!” The bottom line is that if we were intelligently designed we would have three hands, at least! Just think how much more fun sex would be with three or four hands.

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Turn Signals? We don’t need no stinkin’ turn signals! January 11, 2007

Posted by Wig Bubbles Bob in Off the Wall, Rants, Raves.
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Here in L.A. the traffic is horrid. The lights aren’t synched very well so you spend a quarter of your time and gas at red lights. Add to this “The Cluless Commuter Corps” and things get real dicey. The “Corps” could help if only they would…

1- Turn Signals – You paid for them you know, now please use them! Let me know what youre up to. Im on Street Y waiting t o make a right onto Street X. Youre on street X coming toward me from the left. I wait patiently and wham! You make a right onto Street Y right in front of me. I could have made my right if youd used your turn signal. Give me a clue! You want to merge in front of me and guess what, use the signal and Ill let you!

2- The single digit Peace sign, a freeway tradition. This what you get when you dont give me a clue that you want to merge in front of me and just plow your way in. My rule is use it with caution as the recipient may have his own finger action; pulling the trigger on an Uzi.

3- The wave. I have consciously tried to use the wave to thank other drivers when he cuts me some slack when Im attempting some a lane change or other daring move. If your window is up, roll it down and wave, youll feel good.

4- In this age of GPS, Yahoo maps, and Thomas Guides, why do you wait until your off ramp is 500 feet away and execute a Kamikaze 5 lane change? Its real easy, start movin right a mile before your off ramp. That way youll be in the proper lane and were spared your dashing bravado and the freeways flows right along.

5- The SIPs – Self Important Pr**ks. Theres a line of cars inching forward, patiently waiting to exit the freeway at an off-ramp. Youre much too important for this nonsense so you drive by all of us and force your way in at the head of this line at the last possible moment. Not only is this obnoxious, youll also cross that solid white line at the start of the off-ramp in doing so. Wheres a CHPie when you need one?

6- Making a left? Get out in the intersection! Its legal and more cars can make the turn. You in the cars behind, close the gap! I can see keeping a gap so that you wont hit the car in front if you’re rear ended but when youve got 5 cars behind you, be daring and pull up so you’re a couple of feet behind the car in front. Burbank has a great idea. When the left turn arrow goes out theres no red arrow, you’re still free to make a left when its safe!

7- Want to go on a leisurely put? Get to the right! If cars start passing you on the right, you need to speed up or move right. If you cant go 50 on the freeway, get off. Either you or your car is too slow; neither of you belong on the freeway.

Thanks and now get out of my way!